I wrote this piece of advice on public toilets roughly 4 years ago now and I still think its completely relevant!
Nobody likes to use public toilets. FACTOID. So hopefully this guide will help make the experience a bit more bearable.
Firstly you have to chose the right cubical. You want one that has the most light. So pick on that has a window (frosted obvioulsy) or one that has a light above it.
If there is anything gross in the loo or the seat is covered in urine (or anything else for that matter) then immediately re-evaluate you choice of cubical. NOW!
Next, make sure there is loo roll. This is vital. You will need at least 3 (possibly 4) bits (and by bits I don’t mean individual squares.)
With your first bit of loo roll, wipe the seat. Even if its not wet, Wipe it!!!
BUT DONT SIT ON IT!
The next step requires balancing skills. Pull down your trousers/pants/knickers but do not let them drop to the floor. Placing your forearms on your thighs,and standing with feet apart grab the top of your trousers for balance and squat as low down above the seat as possible without sitting on it. Make sure you are in the correct position before allowing the flow, otherwise, well, you will wee all over yourself!
If you happen to lose your balance and fall on to the seat, don’t panic too much, at least you wiped it. Theres nothing worse than realising you are sitting in someone elses widdle! If you can’t balance, then you will need more loo roll. Wipe the seat first, then cover it all the way round with a layer of loo roll. Wherever possible, don’t let your skin touch the seat.
Once the flow has finished, wipe (obviously) and check the seat. If you sprinkled while you tinkled, be a sweet and wipe the seat (again). Pull up your pants and things, recompose yourself and flush. Before leaving the cubical, grab your last bit of loo roll.
Hold the loo roll under your arm while you wash your hands. Properly. With soap. And dry them.
Check the mirror .
Yep, you’ll do.
With your last bit of loo roll, open the door. Dont touch the door handle with your bare hands. You’ve just washed them but chances are, most of the people that have touched that door handle, have not!