I was recently tagged in a non-negotiables post by the lovely Hannah over at HiBaby, (who was tagged by Lucy at HelloBeautifulBear who was tagged by Kate at PoutingInHeels). I’ve tagged them all so that you can have a look through their posts but the idea is to create a list of things that you do to be happy that you won’t negotiate on.
It’s taken me about 2 weeks to think of things for this post so far and I still don’t have many things to write but I’m hoping by starting the post things will come to me as I go along.
So what is non-negotiable for me? Some of these are things that I already do, or already insist on. Some of them are promises I’m making to myself that I will do from now on.
Every day when Liam goes to work, we kiss goodbye. It’s the same if I’m going out anywhere. It’s a rule we’ve always had. Morbid as it may sound, you’ll never know if your last kiss will be your last kiss and one of my fears is of someone dying without knowing how much I loved them. When my sister died 5 years ago, it helped me deal with it knowing that she wasn’t alone and that we had all spent the best part of almost 2 weeks by her side.
I’m done with being the one behind the camera taking the pictures of everybody else. I’m also done with picking pictures apart because “I’ve got a spot in that one” or “I don’t like my smile in this one” etc. It’s time to accept that this is me, this is what I look like. I want to be in photographs with my children whether I look my best or not. I’m all for creating memories with my children and part of that is for them to have pictures to look back on and I want to be in them. Yes I’m aware that I am far from being magazine ready in the looks department. My teeth stick out, my hair is ridiculously fine and brittle and my skin is dry but if I focus on negativity like that, what example am I setting for my children? Hell, I may as well jump on the scales in front of them and call myself fat! I don’t want them to have body issues or insecurities, so I’m banishing mine and embracing the lens.
Take the kids out more.
Dexter loves the park. Dexter loves being outside wherever it is but he really loves the park. He loves to climb and run and explore. I’d love to write on here that I’m going to take him and Paisley on day trips all the time and but I can’t afford to do that. Especially while I’m on mat leave. So while I can’t give them expensive experiences I can make the most of what I can give them and utilise the facilities we have around us. There is a park outside my house just 2 doors down. There is also one just 2 minutes walk away the other side of the road with a big green area too. We have a library about 15 minutes away and some local woods about 25 minutes away. Those are just a couple of the things that cost us nothing to go to. As I write this, It’s raining and Dexter has been asking to go out side. I’d already told him we can after lunch but now that it’s raining, instead of saying no, I’ve told him we can wear wellies and go splashing instead!
We spend way more on food shopping than we need to and then don’t utilise it very well. I want to start keeping track of what we have in and planning meals around that rather than taking an hour to decide on dinner and nipping out for whatever we’re missing and then buying more things that we don’t need. (I also need to draw out cash and stop taking my card to the shop when I nip out for milk so I can’t buy more than I need) From now on, I aim to meal plan at least one week ahead. In the past I’ve managed to meal plan for an entire month and found it very successful but I don’t want to set myself up for failure so will aim for weekly and If I do a months worth of planning, well thats a bonus. Cooking is the easy part once we know what we’re having so they go hand in hand. I just can’t stand the “what are we having?” debate any more. It HAS to STOP!! (Liam, I’m looking at you!)
This is last on my list but that doesn’t make it least important. I don’t make enough time for me. My promise to myself is to have at least one hour a week away from my blog, away from my children and away from Liam to just chill out. To relax in the bath with my music on (which I don’t listen to enough), maybe have a face pack, have a hair cut, paint my nails or just sit upstairs and do some colouring. I don’t care what anyone says, parenting is hard work. Very rewarding and enjoyable but very hard and I can’t name one other job where you wouldn’t be required by law to take a tea break. One hour a week doesn’t sound like a lot but that little bit of time out to recharge and refocus can make a big difference and ultimately make me a better parent to my children and a better wife to my husband.
So those are my ‘non-negotiables’, how about yours? I’m tagging Sam at Clicks & Giggles , Sarah at Forget me knit, Lisa at New Mum online and Helen from All the beautiful things and anyone else that is reading this post and wants to join in. I can’t wait to see what it is that you wont compromise on.