My little boy is growing up and I’m not ready!
I wrote a post not long ago about how ready Dexter is to start preschool.
What I didn’t realise is that I am perhaps not so ready. I’m not looking forward to just dropping him at the door and leaving him in the care of people I don’t really know or that don’t know him or his quirks and mannerisms and what they mean.
Originally, it wouldn’t have been a problem as my mum works there and I know she would’ve looked out for him, but she has just had a hip replacement and now will be off work for a while.
I know deep down that he will be fine. The staff are lovely and he will be safe and well looked after. But on the same hand, I’ve seen his face when he looks round for me at baby club and he can’t see me. He looks so sad and his bottom lip starts to quiver if he thinks I’ve left him and then he calls me really softly as he looks round for me. I feel so helpless that he is going to look for me at preschool and I wont be there! What if he thinks I’ve gone and just left him with strangers?
I’m feeling a bit emotional about this whole situation and I know a millionbilliongazillion children have attended preschool and been fine and a millionbilliongazzilion mums have all survived seeing their children cry as they walk away. The benefits by far outweigh the emotions and it’s just one of those steps we have to take for him to grow up but it still makes me feel a bit uneasy or even guilty. How does he know its good for him? He’ll just see it as his mum walking out the door.
It’s probably just me being emotional. I’m sure we’ll both get through it fine. It’s just 2 and a half hours!
Please tell me I’m not alone in this?