Letters To My Children

A letter to my first born.

February 3, 2016

FB_IMG_1454498157990Dear Dexter,
I know you’re not completely sold on Paisley yet. It’s not hard to see why – I mean, all she does is eat, sleep, poop and cry!
And I know I’ve been a bit more short tempered with you these past few days. I’m sorry for yelling at you, I didn’t mean to. I know you’re not being naughty. You’re not doing anything different than what you would’ve done a month ago. Only now things are different. Now you’re not my only baby.

We tried to prepare you. We talked to you about Paisley and how she would soon be here living with us. We said you would be her big brother and she, your little sister. We asked you if you would help us with nappy changes. And you do! We taught you how to change your doll. We showed you where she would sleep. You helped us pick her clothes. You told people that she was in my belly and you kissed it and rubbed oil on it.
But you’re only 2. And no matter how much we showed you and spoke to you, nothing really could’ve prepared you for how all of our lives would change. Yours especially.FB_IMG_1454500269228FB_IMG_1454498639379  FB_IMG_1454498867852FB_IMG_1454499529700

Life as you have always known it is different now. Our world no longer revolves solely around you. It’s a lot for you to handle, I get that. All this time it’s only been you. You have been the centre of our world. You have been the one we tuck in at night and then miss so much we want to wake you up again. All of the toys were yours, you’ve never had to share them. All of my time was yours, you didn’t have to share me either. Or Daddy for that matter.

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We have watched you grow with our focus entirely on you. We’ve heard your every word and watched your every step. We’ve had conversations with you at silly o’clock and not been able to help the laughter as you come out with the strangest of things, no matter how tired we were because you’d snuck into our bed.

We have held you for hours when you wouldn’t settle. And watched you sleep when you did. We’ve been peed on, pooed on and puked on by you and in the name of love, we’ve taken it.

But now there are two of you. Now we are lucky to have Paisley in our lives and you’re lucky too! You’ll see that soon, I’m sure.
When Mummy’s scar has healed, we can do so much more and I can crawl around and play with you again. When Paisley has learnt to smile and laugh, you will have tremendous fun playing boo with her and doing funny faces.

My dear sweet boy, it will get better, it won’t always be like this. I wont always have to ask you to wait while I just feed your sister. Or tell you to be careful when you crazily crash your bin lorry into her changing mat. Soon she will be crawling around so fast and you’ll love chasing her, I promise.FB_IMG_1454499417772

You will always be my first born and for now at least you are still my favourite boy. You are the one that changed me. You are the one that made me a mum and opened my heart to a whole new world. You taught me to be a mother. You taught me to be patient. You taught me to trust my instincts. I hope that we still get our time together, just us, like old times. You’ve always been so much fun to be around and you make me so proud when we go out!  You will always be that special surprise that turned my world upside down in the most magical way. And you will always be my number 1. My first love. My first born.

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6 Comments

  • Reply Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap) February 3, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    Aww what a lovely post hun. I can imagine those first few weeks with 2 are fun and games and even more so with your scar healing. I’m sure your little man is doing well and Paisley will get so much more fun as she gets older. I hope it’s all going ok and you are getting lots of family time and a bit of sleep!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

    • Reply Leslie Rickerby February 3, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      Yeah, I wont lie, the scar is making things more difficult that it needs to be. Especially when I can’t carry Dexter around like I used to, But we’re getting there slowly. Hopefully it wont be too long before my scar isn’t sore anymore and I can run and roll around with them both x

  • Reply thisdayilove February 3, 2016 at 10:13 pm

    What a lovely letter to write. I remember it so well going from 1 to 2 and am now about to make the leap to 3!

    • Reply Leslie Rickerby February 3, 2016 at 10:46 pm

      Oh, please say it gets easier! Haha

  • Reply Mummy Times Two December 8, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    I love this letter so much. My eldest was older when I had Number Two, but I still felt many of the same things.

    • Reply Leslie Rickerby December 13, 2016 at 9:59 am

      Aww thank you. I often write them letters, mainly on birthdays. It’s sort of become a tradition now. Thanks for reading

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